10 Things I’ve Learned From “Doing the Work”
To Be or Not To Be, Magnetic
I’ll never forget when my agent called me in the middle of the pandemic and the first thing she said to me was I’m just so sick of mental health. It was May of 2020. Read the WORLD I wish I had said. This same woman laughed in my face two years prior, when I told her my 21 year old goals. And yet I bent over backwards to please her. Meanwhile, I was familiar with Lacy Phillips’ work, To Be Magnetic (TBM), and spent years listening to The Expanded Podcast while attending castings and jobs that didn’t fulfill me. My ego was in the driver’s seat, while my soul was begging to evolve. When I got the ping to leave my agency, it took me months to gather the strength to do so. I wanted a job that filled me with purpose, not anxiety — but my identity was tied to, and depended on, my pretty pictures hanging on the Wilhelmina walls in Miami and New York.
Fortunately, the phone call was a wake up call, a ping, the first of many. A couple months later I enrolled myself in The Institute of Integrated Nutrition (IIN), and took the first step to place myself, even if just virtually, in a space where healing was celebrated, encouraged, and taught. Where everything was connected, not compartmentalized. I had become so numb to rejection and so justified by the high-paying, extremely glamorous, ego stroking gigs, that I had normalized placing myself in toxic environments and relationships.
I had grown so accustomed to being a mannequin, I became one. At castings, I would listen to someone holding a clipboard dissect my flaws in front of a room of people, unfazed. It was part of the job and I was professional about it. I didn’t realize until later the extent that I allowed this behavior to seep into my relationships, friendships, family. I surrounded myself with people who took what they wanted from me and discarded the rest. Worse — I put my worth and power in their hands. I thought if I could keep everyone around me happy, they would keep me safe. A lazy and impossible way to live, but I was tired and traumatized. IIN and TBM helped me get out of my own way, unblock toxic belief systems, and clarify what I want my life to look and feel like. Most importantly, I learned to forgive myself. I learned to leave the spaces and people who never wanted what was best for me.
TBM, To Be Magnetic, if you know you know, if you don’t — is a neural manifestation process, podcast, and program that uses psychology, neuroscience, and energetic insights to create new neural pathways for deep subconscious beliefs. In other words, the work aims to unblock negative programming in order to clear space and call in what authentically aligns with you, bringing into fruition your simplest, and wildest dreams. But there’s a catch — this work will not bring in your ego’s desires, and for so many of us part of the process is learning to separate our ego from our authentic selves. This is for people who are curious and committed to understanding who they really are, who they are not, and how to become who they want to be.
It wasn’t until last November that I pulled the trigger and bought the annual membership to The Pathway, giving me access to all the workshops, meditations and journal prompts. I had just returned to Mexico after launching the first issue of The Miami Native. Creating this magazine was a huge accomplishment and a tremendous success, yet I knew I needed to invest in some help to prevent a complete burnout.
I began learning about the process when I was 20, but it took years, and the completion of my frontal lobe, for things to click. I completed the a la carte workshops: How to Manifest, Inner Child, and Shadow during pregnancy, but this was my first time having full access to the program. Using TBM jargon, pings are intuitive nudges, gut feelings. I am glad I received the ping to join The Pathway when I did, because little did I know three months later I’d be diagnosed with a complex tumor and would lean heavily on the foundation and meditations (deep imaginings) from TBM to keep me grounded. I now approach health from a preventative standpoint rather than resorting to crisis control. It’s the frequent mental maintenance that gave me the tools to handle my diagnosis and surgery. Notice I say frequent, not day to day.
I don’t do this work everyday. I don’t do anything everyday except feed and take care of myself and my family. I let life happen. The more I detach, the more things come to me. The less pressure I put on myself, the more I achieve.
Due to my Cuban-Arab superstitious roots, mal de ojo (evil eye), I will hold off on giving the exact details until later. But for now:
These are 10 Things I’ve Learned From “Doing the Work”
This work does not serve to fulfill your ego’s desires
You cannot fake your way into magnetism, not even on social media
Forgiveness is for you, not for them
Your intuition nudges, gently — tests feel urgent and are highly charged with emotion
Don’t take advice from people who insist on giving unsolicited advice
Your values (authentic code) must align with you — not with what people around you want for you
It’s called work for a reason — shadow work is particularly uncomfortable but leads to incredible results, incredibly quick
Take everything with a grain of salt, learn to listen to yourself
You cannot manifest for other people
Sleep, good quality food, a nurturing home environment, safe connections, a secure income, and an education trump any biohacking tool, superfood supplement, or wellness trend
This barely scrapes the surface…I didn’t even get into expanders but if anyone is interested in learning more let me know. I love this stuff.
Just started reading, read the last piece first and then this one, thank you for sharing and for writing!